Saturday, March 19, 2011

Ramblings...

I stole that word from Gini Matz. (Side note...I almost typed @Gini Matz...too much Facebook anyone?) I'm trying to work on a paper and can't get myself to focus for anything. I enjoy school, I really do, but I feel like when I can't work on it during the week and have to take time out of my weekend, I despise it! Utterly.Despise. OK, maybe not quite that bad...but it's gorgeous outside, we have some family in town, and I'm sitting at a coffee shop trying to type some lovely journal reviews. I shouldn't complain. I'm blessed to be able to even get this education, and for free at that!

I am hoping starting to type on here will get the juices flowing. There's so much more going on in my life right now than school that even though I was so excited about this and still am, I feel like it's one of the absolute last things on my list of things to do. Thus the reason I'm currently working on a paper due Monday and have one Wednesday that I have yet to start...AH!

OK...enough whining...wish me luck!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Renewal

2011. Twenty-eleven, two-thousand eleven, two-oh-one-one...whatever you call it, it's a new year.

I can't believe how fast the last couple months seem to have flown by. 2010 seemed to be so very quick, yet when I sit to think about it, I realize a lot happened that seems like it was 2 or 3 years ago, but was just in the past 12 months!

People always start talking about New Year's Resolutions at this point in time, and I have to say, I've never really joined in. I mean, sure, I think about the usual "I want to exercise more" or (me especially!) "I want to blog more". Nothing substantial, nothing life-changing. I was thinking about why resolutions were started in the first place, and I think I may have it figured out. (and if I don't, humor me anyway, K? Thanks. :) )

I would compare it to spring cleaning. When the new, fresh weather comes after being cooped up all winter, you want to throw open the windows, let the breeze in and give everything a fresh new start! The same goes for NYR (what I am labeling them for the simple fact of being tired of writing it out 50 times for this post): you want to start fresh, move on from things, get rolling with new things, and a new year just seems to fit that idea (although, throwing open the windows may not be ideal at this time of year-unless you happen to live somewhere, like, I don't know...LA)

This year, I don't really have resolutions per-say, but I do have that sense of wanting to start fresh, to de-clutter, to renew. Renewing-I think that's it; that sums up what I am feeling. I've been very pensive the past week or so, very quiet and reflective about life in general. I want to really...really...I don't even know. Figure out 'me'? Figure out how all these different aspects of my life fit together and mesh it some crazy, mixed up way. I kind of feel like I have about 10 different sides to me, and that not a lot of people see every side.

I'm a business woman-I think that's one of the first things I think of about myself. I like business. Possibly love it a little bit. But a lot of my closest friends don't ever see that side of me, just hear about it. Speaking of friends, I have so many random groupings of friends; we could name them: "small group friends", "the girls", "MidWest friends" "business friends" "FedEx friends" "Special Olympics friends"...sometimes I feel like I'm the oddball on the outside of so many circles; most people tend to have a small-ish circle of friends, and then aquaintances.

I'm honestly close to a lot of people, and am glad for that, but it makes it very interesting when working 45-50 hours/week managing 15 other people's schedules, trying to maintain relationships, be a wife, take care of a home, serve at church, volunteer, do classwork.<--oh yeah, that. I start graduate school in a week. What?! Oh my. I'm excited, I'm scared, I want to jump up and down and then go hide all at the same time. And the wife thing-I'm still figuring that out. I have one awesome husband (seriously, you have no idea how awesome) but I am not always the most awesome wife...I'm so independent and hello, busy! (see above if you question that one)...he is one loving, gracious man.

Oh, and what should be first on that list? I'm a Christian. I want to figure out even what that means, really. I mean, the basics of what it means I get-trusting Christ for salvation and His working, sanctification, etc....but what does it really look like? I say quite frequently that I think typical 'American' Christianity has it so backward, and I do think that, but I haven't quite figured out what the 'forward' version is. And I don't think it's cookie cutter, I don't think there's a prescription for it. What I do know is it's all grace; without grace I am nothing but a sopping heap of a mess. I'm kind of excited about embarking on this journey: of listening, of learning, of stretching, of growing...of renewal. Kind of like maybe I'm growing up officially (I think I'll say that every year til I'm 80)...or maybe just gaining some wisdom along the way.

To start, I start as I always tend to do: de-cluttering the outside of my life. I have re-organized the furniture in the spare bedroom, our bedroom, gone through our budget (that is still in progress), finally got around to the ironing sitting around for a month, etc. I'm like a neurotic energizer bunny. But while I'm doing all of this, the inside is getting de-cluttered as well, and I like it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sick Day(s)

Ugh. I despise being sick, but here I am, lying in our bed, while my gracious husband is cleaning up our kitchen. (we have a lovely Christmas visitor in the form of a mouse!)

I rarely get really sick-I had a bit of congestion earlier this fall, but it was mostly allergies and such; I haven't been knocked out like this in a looong while. I stayed home on Wednesday this week for part of the day; I was tired and blah, but nothing too awful. Then Friday morning I woke up and whoa. Hello man-voice. Hello pounding head. Hello just plain awfulness.

I stayed home all day Friday and 'rested'. Ha. My form of resting was reviewing CN and submitting a report and checking emails. I did, however, manage a short nap, read a little bit, and watched Anne of Avonlea. And my work was done from a comfy perch on the sofa, so I think that counts. Kind of. I have SUCH a difficult time just doing nothing. Especially when that 'doing nothing' transfers to days of doing nothing.

Saturday I slept in until 10:45. 10:45!!! What the...? Then I just hung around the house, watching Food Network, until we went to see a movie in the afternoon. I figured that getting out of the house for that couldn't be much different than watching a movie at home, right? We then went to Jim's work Christmas party. I shouldn't have gone, but far be it from me to stay at home when there's a party going on! :S It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I went, but I feel like poo again today.

Thus...here I am. In bed. Mouse poop being cleaned up in the kitchen without me. Well...maybe there are some reasons to be thankful I'm sick-I don't mind leaving the mouse poop for someone else. ;)

My husband keeps coming in to tell me I 'should be sleeping' and not on the computer...so I suppose I'll stop my random jaunt of typing *insert sneeze here* just to pass the time and try to actually get some REAL rest.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankfulness just doesn't seem enough

I can never decide whether to first name my blog post and write off of that, or write my blog and name it at the end. This time, I've started without a name...we'll see where it ends up.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving-the day where we celebrate the blessings in our life; the things we're grateful for like our homes, families, good food, etc. And for these, I am thankful. But for so much more than this. We talked about thankfulness at our small group last week, and how our thankfulness shouldn't lie in our blessings-or even in learning through trials-these are all just things in our life. Our true thankfulness should lie in Who God is; His truth, His character. When our thankfulness begins there, it also ends there. There is nothing more important, more crucial, more of a blessing.

It's odd-I can write about this, and grasp it in my own mind to an extent. I know it's truth, and say I believe it, but struggle to live it out in my daily life. Thank God for grace. I tend to put a lot of stock in what people say and/or think, and in my professional life, this tends to overwhelm me. I am the 'go-to' person for a lot of things, and enjoy my role greatly. This also consistently puts me in situations where I am the one that has to handle issues, give correction, etc. and I become consumed with trying to make everyone happy at all times, and to make all things go smoothly; part of this is my pride, wanting to be able to handle every situation that arises. Part of it is wanting to be a 'good' boss/business partner, etc. and not have anyone upset, ever. Hello Alisha, this is reality, people are fallen, and I'm not perfect. Shocking, I know.

But, in all of this, His grace is sufficient for me. There is nothing more I need to know, nothing more to trust, than that when I am weak, Christ is strong. Not only strong, but His power is displayed all the more when I am weak. Oh, to be able to live in that truth daily-knowing His love and grace are more than enough to get me through any long day, any circumstance that I may face. And I am truly grateful. And I am grateful that God has chosen to use me in a way to minister to a very incredible population, and that I just happen to get a paycheck to do it.

Jesus, cast a look on me
Give me sweet simplicity
Make me poor and keep me low
Seeking only Thee to know

Oh-and I decided on a name for the post. :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I should have been born in the 1800s.

And in England, for that matter. I'm an old soul, I admit it. I love Pride and Prejudice-I would talk in the accent if I could, but I can't (just as Jim)-so I settle for at least using words and phrases like "nonsensical" and "lack of propriety".

This post stems from the fact that today, my day off (praise the LORD!!) I was extremely excited to make-and can-apple butter. Yep, sometimes I act like an 80 year old woman, and I'm happy to say it. I'm also excited to clean and organize my house, possibly read some Anne of Avonlea (right up there with Pride and Prejudice) and enjoy this gorgeous fall day.

I'll try to post pictures of my apple butter making attempt after it's all done and I know it tastes good! :)

P.S.-I would advocate for reading the book first, but if you're going to watch the movie, go with the 5 1/2 hour A & E version of Pride and Prejudice. Anything else is just nonsensical.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Rainy days are good for pondering...

Rain. Nothing is quite so comforting to the soul as a rainy day. Coffee all day long, a warm bowl of lentil soup for lunch, boots, sweaters...it just feels good.

I think part of the reason I like rainy days is that they force me to slow down, to just drink life in a little bit more and not rush so much. (except to and from the car maybe to avoid getting drenched) I feel like I take a step back, look at my life, and just breathe. Ahhhh....doesn't it just give some life to your soul?

I am a constantly busy person. Some because I have to be; a lot because of choice. I love people, I love traveling, I love seeing, doing and trying everything life has to offer, and somehow, I'm convinced it should all fit neatly into one 24 hour period. Yeah, right. Alas, I still haven't quite grasped the concept that relaxing doesn't equal laziness and that home is sometimes, (oftentimes) a much better place to spend my time than other options.

So, thank you, rainy day. For slowing me down, making me stop, listen and look around at all the beauty that surrounds my everyday life; that lies in making a pot of soup, doing some laundry, and listening to the pitter-patter of drops against the window. It is a good day.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Delicious Autumn!


"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."-George Eliot

(random bit of fact: George Eliot isn't really himself; he's a girl. It's her pen name-look it up)

Let me start this post by noting the irony of my last post entitled "I need to start blogging more"...it was dated May 12. Oh well, can't win 'em all I suppose...

Oh, how I love this time of year! Everything about fall just makes me smile; I have a renewed energy for life-it's just beautiful. I love things about each season, to be sure; but by the time summer is winding down I'm ready for a relief from the heat, ready to feel a cool breeze blowing through my house, ready to have to wrap myself in a sweater just to sit on the porch drinking my coffee in the morning.

For me, Autumn starts as of September 1st (who cares what that calendar says!). Some years, this works in my favor, as it starts cooling off and while other people are complaining that "summer isn't over yet! why is it cold?" I'm doing an inner dance (sometimes outwardly too...) This year, however, summer has lasted...and lasted...and lasted.

The first "official" day of fall was Thursday, and I think the high was somewhere around 96 degrees. I tried to make it a fallish day, but when you're sweating and trying to wear the least amount of clothes possible yet still appear "professional"-it makes being all autumnal slightly difficult. I also baked pumpkin cookies this week (5 dozen...don't ask), put out the fall decor, made apple/zucchini bread, and we had our company fall picnic. All in the midst of the Indian Summer-like weather.

So, you can imagine my anticipation all week when the forecast was calling for highs in the 60s today, and rain (which has also been severely lacking). And you can subsequently imagine my utter excitement when I woke up early this morning to the sound of rain falling and realized that they may have actually had a pretty accurate forecast. Sure enough-I woke this morning to cold, wind and rain; and I did a little dance to welcome the Autumn. (the blinds were still closed, no worries)

Welcome Autumn! (on a side note, I love that my first post in 4 months was just about the weather.)