Sunday, February 7, 2010

Growing Pains

It's easier said than done. I've been thinking a lot about it lately...I feel like I go through stages of feeling like life is completely balanced, and then the polar opposite of it being completely chaotic. Currently, it's been the latter. This time, however, I think I'm looking at it a little differently than the other times.

I should clarify-I don't think I'm going to ever have this constant feeling of stability (although as a woman that's what I crave)...but I think choices I am making are causing things to feel more chaotic than they need to be. Things like work vs. home. Social life vs. just relaxing. Ensuring that "me time" is edifying vs. browsing on Facebook for an hour. I don't think any of these things are bad in and of themselves, but when they take up too much time and compound on each other, life gets a little hectic.

Jim gave me a wake-up call the other day: he looked at me and said "You're working too much and it's not healthy; what do we need to do to fix that?" That kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband and my home are to be my priorities, no matter how many tasks I have to complete at the office. I have been really unsettled, feeling as though I am not taking care of my family the way I should. Not in a "let me put more pressure on myself" kind of way, just in a, "Hey you. Check your priorities, now!" kind of way. :)

When work is what takes up my day, that tends to be what I get wrapped up in and I go at it full-speed. Obviously, I don't want to give a half-hearted effort at work, but I need to learn what it means to work at EVERYTHING I do as working for the Lord-that includes work, home, social life, relaxing, exercising, eating...everything. Giving 110% to one thing that leaves me exhausted to give anything to the others isn't fair...nor is it right. Growing's hard to do.